onvural.net – melih – family man

I haven’t posted since February.

We’ve lived in 5 AirBnBs since then. We still don’t live in our own home. And as I type this at 1am on a quiet Saturday morning in July it’s still likely to be September before we do. And yet – at least September is within the same quarter as the one we’re in.

We’ve traveled to Belize for a family vacation – it was fantastic.

The kids have all finished another grade of school with phenomenal report cards and comments from their teachers. Luka graduated 5th grade to boot, and is heading to Mark Twain Middle School (our #1 choice). He had to test in, and so I’m even more proud of him for that.

Moving constantly, and living in a suitcase constantly, is miserable. But through it all we’ve been together, housed, fed, and generally happy.

I’m too tired to type much more. But the very feint light of optimism is starting to shine inside me again, and that’s the beginning of a good feeling.

The highlight of this week was Doruk’s book reading in Minneapolis.

I flew out Thursday, worked all day, and then when that was said and done we got into book reading mode. The event was fantastic. All of the authors crushed it. Afterwards we went out and we laughed and laughed and laughed.

On Friday, I came back and we toured the house. We’re finally making progress. It’s feeling more and more like there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. I’m learning a lot about things I’m sure they never intended for me to see, but with the project as late as it is – we don’t have time to use the traditional playbook.

I’m really optimistic that we made a huge dent this last month or so. I’m really hoping that big swaths of this project are done now, and we can start the sprint to the finish line. There’s still about 1/3 of the race to go, but I think we’ll get to the final 10% quickly now.

Kids are doing great. Amelia brought home a few graded projects – all of them A’s of some sort. We’re finishing up From the desk of Zoe Washington and it’s getting really exciting.

Theo is starting more playdates with his crew, and I’m really excited about that. Even as who his crew is fluctuates the most important thing is that they are his chosen people and not the siblings of his siblings friends.

Amelia and I went upstate this past weekend and brought down 1 gallon water bottles. We’re all drinking more water as a result, and I think it’s going to be great for us!

First ski run this weekend though I think it will be just the kids. Let’s see how much snow there is.

This was a good week. I hope there are many more like it!

The week saw us leaving Catskill to start back at work, get Mike back to the UK after he broke his wrist, and get a new school semester kicked off.

No Angelica meant that it was even more complicated, and Micky ended up back in England with Mike for 3-days as well.

Moments like this are really where the kids shine – and I also realize how impossible having a fourth child would be in our lives. They got up and made their lunches – including Theo making an all candy and goldfish lunch one day 😂. After school they were patient with me forgetting or being late. We had playdates and good energy through the week.

On Friday, I went to get food for dinner and came back to a scene in the backyard. I thought they’d locked themselves out, but no. They were cleaning up a ton of Eevee poop in the backyard and Theo refused to pick up any poop 😂😂😂 we figured it out in the end, but it was hilarious.

Amelia and I are gonna head upstate for the weekend while the boys do Brooklyn play dates.

The house is also making a lot of progress. HVAC should be close to done. Plumbing is moving. We’ve gotta get electrical moving and I’m getting the utilities updated. Roof is almost done. Back wall is making slow progress. I think there’s a path to March, but we’ve gotta get it done right. Let’s see if we can pull that off.

I’ve decided to skip CES this year, and I’m bummed, but hanging out with the babies is the right choice. The times are definitely changing.

Though chaotic, it was a pretty Önvural start to the new year, and a sign that 2023 is going to be memorable- for what reason I don’t know, but let’s see ❤️

Micky and I got back from the Okavango Delta in Botswana on Thursday, and found the time away both incredibly revitalizing, and also an incredible mechanism by which to refocus. Finding this kind of space and time has been so hard – especially with Micky’s new job, constantly moving between houses, and Amelia starting her middle school routine, and the insanity that was a major launch at Stripe.

We got to go on a safari every day starting at 6am, and would spend 4 – 5 hours driving through the wilderness trying to find interesting animal moments. There are impala everywhere. They’re known as the McDonald’s of the savannah because they are fast food. You’ll see zebra and you’ll often see elephant as well. Finding the predators is hard, and seeing the animals do something besides grazing is hard as well. And in that time you’re left with your thoughts quite a bit. It was fantastic, but I could also imagine that it would be overwhelming for those who hate being with their thoughts.

The time in between was spent eating, swimming, napping, and occasionally figuring out the solution to the world’s problems – or at least how we hoped to survive the next 6 months or so.

The afternoon safari would always be shorter, a bit harder to find things, but would afford a sunset that was – on a daily basis – awe inspiring. There is so much dust in the sky that you can look almost directly at the sun – a large, red circle that lights the horizon in shades of pink. Having an afternoon tea while a gorgeous sunset falls behind a watering hole is incredible. One night, as we’re turning a corner on our way back in the dark, a herd of elephants was hanging out and digging for roots. We just slowly drove through as they focused on the meal in front of them.

The nights were filled with planning. Planning the next set of trips. Figuring out Luka’s middle schools to apply to. Planning for the house – which had great progress made on it while we were gone. Planning for how to retire sooner and just keep traveling as a full-time job.

When you have hippos barking in the background with the bell frogs and the baboons it really puts into perspective how much of our time is spent doing the default as opposed to doing things purposefully.

Our trip home was a short flight, a short flight, a 16-hour flight across the globe, and then a short flight. Being home with the babies who spent time with Doruk, Hanna, and my mom was incredible. They seemed to have an incredible time. It made taking the time off much easier knowing that

A lot has happened in the 10 weeks since my last post.

Micky started a new job. We’ve applied for Middle Schools for Amelia. We’ve added Tennis to the Soccer and Gymnastics mix. Masks are no longer required at schools – though COVID numbers are on the rise once again. And we’re in a building mode – which has been really great.

The first big build in our lives right now is the house. India came into town last week, and she and Micky really made a big dent in the interior design list. We’ve picked out a cool tub, rugs, colors for walls, toilets. At the same time, the back wall is going up, and the framing of walls and rooms with it. It’s really starting to feel like the shape and pieces are coming together.

We’ve had our first major setback though – windows. Delivery is going to take much too long. Move-in date is at risk. But I’m sure we’ll find a way – we always do.

We’ve also built a gaming computer! We went to the local Microcenter, and got all of the parts. We had to glue together a bunch of YouTube videos. I’ve never built a computer completely from scratch before, though I’ve upgraded computers in the past. And some pieces were both generic and easy. And then some parts are just so damn confusing. And getting the cords just right is quite hard. But we got about 90% done ourselves, and then had them help us with the last 10%. And it’s colorful, and great!

And now – we’re building lots of fun things for Tech Day at school. So far we’ve built a water bottle rocket launcher. And a mouse trap car. And it’s so much fun! While the boys and I are knocking that out, the ladies are upstate having a fun weekend as well.

So it’s hectic. It’s tiring. I’m exhausted. But it’s also so full of joy. And spring is right around the corner.

In the immortal words of Ron Burgundy – “Well that escalated quickly didn’t it?”

I have this desire to write that 2021 didn’t bring the promised relief of 2020, but when I look at it objectively that isn’t true. As a family, we’re vaccinated, fully employed, and living a relatively pre-pandemic life.

From the point of view of those three things – 2021 was a massive win.

But there’s still a weight to the year that I wasn’t expecting that seems to be just hanging over us. While acknowledging that, and wanting to write about it more, instead I’ll kick off this year’s weekly family updates with a highlight of the things we most enjoyed from 2021.

From Amelia:

• Hanging out with her friends – Louisa, Maelle, and Anya
• Being able to go to England for Christmas

From Luka:

• Hanging out with his pod and going back to school
• Playing quarterback for his flag football team

From Theo:

• Going to school with his friends
• Getting to build legos

From Micky:

• Our trip through California this summer

From me:

• Being able to spend time with friends and family who then moved away from NYC
• Spending time with those who were there and stayed as well

Here’s to a healthy, happy 2022 for all of us.

I think that Einstein may have gotten it wrong when he tried to describe the relationship between time and energy as quadratic. The kiddos will gladly take the Nobel Prize once we can figure out the math to explain how quickly this year passed, and how much everyone changed.

My favorite was the three-week trip we did with the kids across Egypt, Italy, and finishing in the UK. They handled the heat incredibly well. They learned a ton, and to this day can quote the things that they learned. The time they spent with the family was incredible. As they’re getting older, and better able to retain the memories, it’s amazing to see them create richer and richer moments. Theo learned how to scare the shit of us in the pool, but bravely jumped in anyway. It was an amazing trip.

I’ve found that 2nd Grade is a hard year regardless of teacher or child. But both 1st Grade and 3rd Grade were quite wonderful. I don’t know what it is about 2nd Grade. We had a teacher tell us that it’s the first year that the kids aren’t babied, and that it makes it a tougher year. Whatever it is though, it’s caused lots of emotions to flow out.

We’ve gotten incredibly lucky with preschool whether the 2s program in SF or the preschool programs all the kids have been through. Theo loves his friends, his teachers, and school in general. He’s the most amazing story teller. He’s got the best laugh, and he still cuddles us. He’s a grown up baby in so many ways. If only we could kick that damn bottle.

Birthday parties spread out from Chuck’e’Cheese to rock climbing to laser tag. Swimming in the river and bowling upstate. The big two discovered that they like to ski. Theo discovered that he likes me pulling him up and down the tubing slopes. We still can’t really get them to go for a hike, but I’m sure we’ll tackle that one soon enough.

Amelia has picked up acting and gymnastics, and loves both. She’s been willing to trade away rock climbing. Luka gave up soccer, and hasn’t found a sport, but he’s a Pokemon card player with his whole retinue of friends. Theodore hasn’t hit the activities scene yet though sneaking him into art class was great, and he seemed to enjoy it (and they him).

Biggest family hack was getting Theo into Cooking Camp this year. Not only did we get him in under the age limit, but then the big kids told the teacher he was allergic to tomatoes all week to only find out at the very end that they’d been pulling her leg. That’s how you know they’re related to me.

It was a horrible year on many fronts, but on the kids front it was wonderful. Maybe the best it’s been yet. And I hope it only gets better from here.

This weekend we headed up to Mechanicsville, NY to have a go at a Pokemon League Cup. All three kiddos hopped in, and I joined as well (though we competed in different divisions).

In competitive Pokemon there are three point generating levels – League Challenges, League Cups, and Regionals. There are also International Cups, but I have no idea how those work, and so they’re outside my world view 🙂

Luka has been the one in the family with the most success so far, and he looked to continue that streak. But Amelia and Theo both are getting much better – and the fairy deck I inherited from Amelia is one I’m finally figuring out how to play better.

When all was said and done, Luka finished 2nd (out of 4), Amelia 3rd (out of 4), and Theo 4th (out of 4). I finished 22 (out of 28).

The real chaos though came in building the decks mere moments before the tournament started. You see only certain cards are legal, and I totally botched which ones were allowed and weren’t allowed. Poor Theo had to build a whole new deck in the 10 minutes before the tournament started, but he was such a great trooper. We also had a bunch of other Poke Parents help us out, and that was a huge help. It’s a really amazing community from that point of view.

I was bummed out for Luka because he won his first match, and then ended up playing much harder competition than the rest of his peer group. The result was that they had better results than him though he had beaten them in head-to-head competition.

It’s definitely a bug in the Pokemon tournament system I’d love to see resolved.

And the shop where the tournament was hosted was amazing. It’s an old gaming store with old NES, SNES, arcade, and other games. Did you know that a functional version of Mega Man 5 for NES is worth $110?!? Because I sure as hell didn’t!

It was a great Saturday for all of us, and I think we’ve all got some good ideas about how to improve our decks, and move into the next chapter of this season. Maybe I’ll even win 2 matches at the next tournament!