{"id":1243,"date":"2014-08-10T23:29:58","date_gmt":"2014-08-11T06:29:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/?p=1243"},"modified":"2014-08-10T23:29:58","modified_gmt":"2014-08-11T06:29:58","slug":"focusing-on-appreciation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/2014\/08\/10\/focusing-on-appreciation\/","title":{"rendered":"Focusing on appreciation"},"content":{"rendered":"

We’re an extremely email happy culture at TokBox. We have automated emails, out of office emails, working from home emails, and then just a bunch of emails about getting things done.<\/p>\n

As I’ve been drowning in email lately, I started to notice a pattern that I really don’t like.<\/p>\n

In an effort to move through the deluge of communication coming my way, I very quickly, and often curtly, reply to emails or start new email threads. I don’t stop to do any level of thanking, appreciation, or even common courtesy.<\/p>\n

As email is such a large part of our culture, it would be as if I came up to someone’s desk, didn’t notice their hair was dyed blue, and left without saying as much. I don’t like that. And so I’m going to change it.<\/p>\n

I’m going to do two things differently:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. I’m going to stop sending as many emails that lead to conversations. I want to do conversations with people, get their frank opinions, and understand exactly what they’re saying while being physically present in the conversation. It means no more midnight emails, but it also means being actively engaged in the outcome of a discussion, and not just being able to throw bombs across the table, and be agnostic to the result.<\/li>\n
  2. I’m going to open emails with positive comments as opposed to direct actions, negative comments, or unsolicited thoughts (which will lead to a conversation). This just feels like it makes the email feel more like I’m at the person’s desk getting a quick status update on something while making sure that their sick kid is doing okay. It’s what I would do in real life, and so why not in the virtual life I’ve built?<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    I don’t know how it’s going to go as I love sending and receiving email, but we’ll see soon. Very soon \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    We’re an extremely email happy culture at TokBox. We have automated emails, out of office emails, working from home emails, and then just a bunch of emails about getting things done. As I’ve been drowning in email lately, I started to notice a pattern that I really don’t like. In an effort to move through […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false},"categories":[62,1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pQyAq-k3","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":649,"url":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/2013\/08\/23\/its-a-real-thing-now\/","url_meta":{"origin":1243,"position":0},"title":"It's a real thing now!","date":"August 23, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"I'm really excited because with the help of eMinutes I've been able to formally incorporate Big Fish, Big Pond. With the paperwork finished, the game plan is to really spend some time exploring my favorite non-video chat problem space - organizing people - which ranges from helping the individual build\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Life Updates"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1763,"url":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/2016\/11\/22\/racial-profiling-is-a-trade-off-not-a-bug\/","url_meta":{"origin":1243,"position":1},"title":"Racial profiling is a trade-off, not a bug","date":"November 22, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"When developing software, a Product Manager (that's the job that I do) has to choose between whether to do the Cadillac version of a product (or feature) or the Accord version. Picking between one or the other is called making a tradeoff. 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They came back at the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "just thinking out loud"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":357,"url":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/2010\/07\/01\/truth-amongst-friends-is-a-lie\/","url_meta":{"origin":1243,"position":3},"title":"Truth... amongst friends... is a lie?","date":"July 1, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"I don't quite understand the need to maintain a friendship at the expense of one's sanity. Don't work at friendships. They either exist or they don't. It's a very black or white situation. Take them for what they are, and not what you want them to be. Having said that,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "just thinking out loud"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":526,"url":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/2012\/02\/29\/keeping-conversations-moving\/","url_meta":{"origin":1243,"position":4},"title":"Keeping conversations moving","date":"February 29, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"With the Clementi case in the news, the shooting at a high school in Ohio, and the latest episode of Glee highlighting how bullying leads to catastrophe, I asked myself what it takes to actually bring positive social change into the lives of kids today. You see, the adults have\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Fatherhood"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":335,"url":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/2010\/05\/21\/hearing-instead-of-listening\/","url_meta":{"origin":1243,"position":5},"title":"Hearing instead of listening","date":"May 21, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Why is it so difficult to hear when it's so easy to listen? Yes, it seems like a very technical question mired in definitions and understanding, but I'm increasingly discovering that one of the hardest skill to develop in oneself is the ability to hear what others say. You see,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "just thinking out loud"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1243"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1243"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1243\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1243"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1243"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1243"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}