{"id":1632,"date":"2015-08-03T22:40:23","date_gmt":"2015-08-04T05:40:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/?p=1632"},"modified":"2015-08-03T22:40:23","modified_gmt":"2015-08-04T05:40:23","slug":"starting-with-questions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/2015\/08\/03\/starting-with-questions\/","title":{"rendered":"Starting with questions"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s very easy to see when there is trust in a culture\/community\/unit &#8211; people start with questions.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>The opposite is true as well. When there is no trust &#8211; people start with solutions.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>The reason that questions signify trust is that asking questions brings both parties into the topic without the need for defense. These questions often start with why did we assume, or why didn&#8217;t we assume.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Solutions assume that there is some clear and present gap in the current status that requires immediate correction. They also don&#8217;t allow the questionee to share the framework they&#8217;ve built with the questioner.&nbsp;<br \/>\nUsually though, those that start with solutions also come in with unaligned assumptions. And that&#8217;s where the true breakdown is. Because when assumptions, objectives, and agendas aren&#8217;t aligned and the conversation centers around how to fill specific gaps and holes, you don&#8217;t &nbsp;build trust, you debate execution.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;So I say lets get better at starting with questions.&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s very easy to see when there is trust in a culture\/community\/unit &#8211; people start with questions.&nbsp; The opposite is true as well. When there is no trust &#8211; people start with solutions.&nbsp; The reason that questions signify trust is that asking questions brings both parties into the topic without the need for defense. These [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false},"categories":[62,1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pQyAq-qk","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1320,"url":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/2014\/11\/07\/13-days-til-30\/","url_meta":{"origin":1632,"position":0},"title":"13 days til 30","date":"November 7, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Things to do better (Part II) Be a better son I think that over the last 10 years, and especially the last 6, I've been a C- son at best. From my point of view, my parents have been equally bad parents. I think though that it's time we all\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;just thinking out loud&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":43,"url":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/2007\/01\/21\/encroachment-in-information-mining-technologies-part-i\/","url_meta":{"origin":1632,"position":1},"title":"Encroachment in Information Mining Technologies - Part I","date":"January 21, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Data mining has slowly, and silently, pervaded into the lives of everyday digital consumers. Using Gmail? Look at the advertisements on the right hand side of the screen and notice that they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re related to the contents of your e-mail. Are you a social networker? You\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve released information about yourself onto\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Information Mining Essay&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":366,"url":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/2010\/07\/22\/juicing-for-a-cause-kind-of\/","url_meta":{"origin":1632,"position":2},"title":"Juicing for a cause... kind of","date":"July 22, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"So as for the wedding planning, I have officially finished the music for the wedding. We're getting a lovely guitarist for the ceremony. We've asked her to play \"Somewhere over the Rainbow\" as the song to which Micky walks down the aisle. I hope it's a lively, and upbeat rendition.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Melih gets married&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1092,"url":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/2014\/04\/07\/book-updates\/","url_meta":{"origin":1632,"position":3},"title":"Book updates","date":"April 7, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"A new month means another book update!! I finished both of my work related books. The Kanban book I found really useful. The design book less so. I then decided to go fiction, and found a suggestion from either the Kottke blog or from MG Sieglar's blog to read Ishmael\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;New Year Resolutions&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":46,"url":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/2007\/03\/06\/encroachment-in-information-mining-technologies-part-iv\/","url_meta":{"origin":1632,"position":4},"title":"Encroachment in Information Mining Technologies - Part IV","date":"March 6, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"There is a constant struggle to expand the circle of inclusion for ethical thought in discourse. This is often aimed at natural environments \u00e2\u20ac\u201c animals, plants, ecosystems \u00e2\u20ac\u201c but what about digital persons? With the development of games such as World of Warcraft and EverQuest and online communities such as\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Information Mining Essay&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":433,"url":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/2011\/03\/11\/smarter-interviewing-for-college-students\/","url_meta":{"origin":1632,"position":5},"title":"Smarter interviewing for college students","date":"March 11, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"I didn't know what to ask when I was coming out of school of potential employers. Having been in the job world for a few years now (going on three which is one part amazing, one part soul destroying), I think I've got a set of questions that I think\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;just thinking out loud&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1632"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1632"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1632\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1632"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1632"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1632"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}