{"id":1748,"date":"2016-11-09T20:47:25","date_gmt":"2016-11-10T04:47:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/?p=1748"},"modified":"2016-11-09T20:47:25","modified_gmt":"2016-11-10T04:47:25","slug":"dear-ms-mary","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/2016\/11\/09\/dear-ms-mary\/","title":{"rendered":"Dear Ms. Mary…"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dear Ms. Mary,<\/p>\n

I want to reintroduce myself. My name is Melih Onvural, and we met almost 25 years ago in a small town called Cary, NC. I even remember how you introduced yourself – “My name is Mary. My husband’s name is Terry. And we live in Cary”. I was 9. And I don’t think you hated me then. Why do you hate me now?<\/p>\n

If you remember, we were neighbors for 10 years. I grew up playing Monopoly and doing math homework at your kitchen table. The one time I remember my parents taking some time off for themselves, I stayed at your house. You might remember my parents. Muslim immigrants from Turkey who came to America and built their own American Dream.<\/p>\n

\"Raif
Raif Onvural at ODTU Graduation 1983<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

You see, I feel the need to re-introduce myself because\u00c2\u00a0over the last year or so, you’ve filled my Facebook feed with alt-right political rhetoric as if you’ve never known an immigrant; or a Muslim; or someone who scraped, crawled, and fought their way from the bottom to the top of the hill known as America.<\/p>\n

But you have – me.<\/p>\n

\"Melih
Melih Onvural – Senior Prom 2003<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

And – very consistently – over the last year you’ve posted your political rhetoric, and I’ve stayed silent. I figured that your candidate couldn’t win, and that I shouldn’t soil our relationship with political bickering. I was wrong about the former. And you didn’t give me the courtesy of the latter, and so I have to remind you of a few things tonight.<\/p>\n

(1) Your candidate said that he wants me and my parents to not be a part of the American fabric. Either he actually means it, which makes him and you bigots, or he said it only\u00c2\u00a0to rally up the crowd which makes him a liar.<\/p>\n

If it’s the former, then your years of speaking down at me for not being Christian are a farce. Christ isn’t a bigot. And as a follower of Christ you must love all of His children, and leave judgement to our Creator on the Day of Judgement. These are the words He spoke in the Sermon on the Mount. These are things you taught me. In your kitchen. In the life we shared together. As neighbors.<\/p>\n

If it’s the latter, then you’ve been conned. And you’ve allowed a con man to become your false prophet – once again betraying the very values you claim to live by.<\/p>\n

(2) Your candidate has encouraged white supremacists to come out of the shadows in which they were hiding, and refused to repudiate them.<\/p>\n

By supporting this man, you’ve made the world less safe for my children. Here’s a picture of my mixed-race children. They’re 5, 4, and 1.5 years old. They have a British mom, and a Turkish dad. Their last name is one that no one can pronounce. Instead of looking into my feed, and wondering about the world looks like for these kids when hate is allowed out of the shadows, you openly invited hate, and pushed us into the shadows.<\/p>\n

\"Onvural
Onvural Family at bedtime<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

How can I possibly bring them to North Carolina now knowing that the KKK has been empowered to stand back up? How can I send them to their grandmother’s house for the summer not knowing if they’ll be safe or not? You have grandchildren. Why would you create a world that is less safe for them\u00c2\u00a0than the one in which your own children grew up?<\/p>\n

(3) Your candidate has firmly laid down a layer of concrete over the glass ceiling of equal opportunity that every woman in my family\u00c2\u00a0has fought for.<\/p>\n

\"Nur
Nur Onvural – Women of Western Wake 2016<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
\"Micky
Micky Onvural<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

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Why should these women have opportunities closed to them? Why as a grandmother and a mother of an incredible young girl should they think that her opportunities will be less than those of the boys in their lives? Your candidate – and the masses who voted him in – make them believe that. Should your granddaughter have fewer opportunities just because she doesn’t have a penis?<\/p>\n

I think somewhere along the line you forgot that the names and labels that you were raging against were people. People with lives, destinies, hopes, and dreams. My family. Your neighbors.<\/p>\n

Your vote – and the votes of millions of other Americans – told these people – my people – that we don’t matter.<\/p>\n

As much as I thought the best solution was to turn you off, I’ve realized that that’s wrong. I’m not going to unfriend you. I’m going to fill your news feed with the pictures, stories, accomplishments, and journeys of these people.<\/p>\n

Because we’re not a faceless mass. We’re not Skittles in a fucking bowl. We are America – the best parts of it. And we want you to be part of our story too.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dear Ms. Mary, I want to reintroduce myself. My name is Melih Onvural, and we met almost 25 years ago in a small town called Cary, NC. I even remember how you introduced yourself – “My name is Mary. My husband’s name is Terry. And we live in Cary”. I was 9. And I don’t […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false},"categories":[4,1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pQyAq-sc","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":992,"url":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/2014\/03\/10\/my-coach-mac-story\/","url_meta":{"origin":1748,"position":0},"title":"My Coach Mac story","date":"March 10, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"A teacher at Cary Academy passed away this weekend. His name was Dave McAllister. I knew him as an athletic trainer, gym teacher, NC State fan, and a great conversationalist. He gave us shit all of the time because he cared. He always did right by the person first. And\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "just thinking out loud"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":56,"url":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/2007\/05\/06\/final-match-report-spring-2007\/","url_meta":{"origin":1748,"position":1},"title":"Final Match Report - Spring 2007","date":"May 6, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Cary Academy Junior Varsity Girl\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Soccer (2-8-1, 0-2-0) Cardinal Gibbons versus Cary Academy Thursday, May 3 Final Score: Cardinal Gibbons: 4 Cary Academy: 0 Summary: Without heart, a passion for the game, respect for your opponent, and desire, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s very difficult to be successful in life. This fact also holds\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "just thinking out loud"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1771,"url":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/2016\/12\/16\/until-next-time-san-francisco\/","url_meta":{"origin":1748,"position":2},"title":"Until next time San Francisco","date":"December 16, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Today, after 8.5 years, is my last day living in San Francisco\u00c2\u00a0- a city that\u00c2\u00a0gave me so much: The love of my life The birthplace of my three children The only jobs I've ever known My first major sports championship I've experienced The first home that I bought The only\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Life Updates"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1662,"url":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/2016\/01\/03\/yes-john-there-is-something-worse-than-turkish-time\/","url_meta":{"origin":1748,"position":3},"title":"Yes John, there is something worse than Turkish time","date":"January 3, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"In high school, it drove my dear friend (and comrade in arms for all things sports) John Gottshall bat shit crazy how late I was to everything.\u00a0 Heading to the Ale House? At least 15 minutes late.\u00a0 Tailgating at 2pm? Show up at John's house at 2:15.\u00a0 You wanna drive\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "just thinking out loud"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":12,"url":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/2006\/06\/06\/week-1-san-jose-new-town-new-start\/","url_meta":{"origin":1748,"position":4},"title":"Week 1 - San Jose - New town, New start","date":"June 6, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"One week has passed since I've come to California. The first week was really one long adjustment period. It's a week worth of learning a new town, getting used to a new time zone, and, ultimately, trying to impress the boss. My manager's, what IBM calls my mentor, name is\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Extreme Blue Internship"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1748"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1748"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1748\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1748"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1748"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1748"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}