That’s how I feel right now about my need to make excuses for myself of late. No one gives a damn, and nor should they. I don’t have any good ones… there rarely is a good one. I need a good reason to move forward, and I think that I’ve finally found it. It’s over. 24 is over, and it’s time to take control again, and understand how in so many ways I control the destiny of the most important thing in my life right now… me.<\/p>\n
So here’s a game plan for me:<\/p>\n
I’m working on a good calendar & to-do list for myself. I’m not quite sure what I need or what I want. I now that iCal isn’t it, and I also know that Google Calendar isn’t it. Would love to get suggestions from people to see what they use. I also might just build my own. I’ll start with a to-do system, and work my way up. I’m really trying to figure out what I would need in it. I would need SMS access; I would want some level of control for others to see when necessary and not see when not necessary. Anyway, just thinking out loud here, but this is definitely number one for me.<\/p>\n
It’s really hard to have any idea of being successful unless you have some metric against which to measure. I didn’t think this was true. I always assumed that the end goal was to just reach a new milestone, regardless of what it may be. That’s a never ending road to nowhere as it were. When I went to TIP camp during the summer of 2000 (which was probably the best summer of my life, btw), we had a session on the difference between nowhere and now here and how incrementally different these two words are in the English language visually, and yet how large the chasm between the two is philosophically. Setting goals is effectively my exploration of how to jump that chasm from nowhere to understanding what now here<\/em> means.<\/p>\n I saved the best for last. I think the thing that I’ve really lost is just the idea that I need to have fun. There just isn’t enough life not to have fun all the time. I need to find my smile. I enjoyed my soccer match this week just for the folks that I got to play with. Yeah, they drive me crazy, but that’s why I love them. I actually have a huge crush on one of the co-eds… but don’t tell anyone! I laughed a lot today with the “Costume Gang”. We made a big mistake leaving when we did. We lost too much of our day, and essentially lost a day at work, but for my morale it was good. It’s what actually led me to force myself to re-focus, write this, and make the commitment to gain control again.<\/p>\n<\/ol>\n I am committing here to making this next year of my life huge. I don’t know today how that’s going to play out. I don’t know if it’s a good or bad thing. What I do know though is that looking back on the year in 365 days will be much like an architect returning to the keystone in an archway knowing that it takes all of the stones to build the archway, but this one stone to bind the rest together.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" That’s how I feel right now about my need to make excuses for myself of late. No one gives a damn, and nor should they. I don’t have any good ones… there rarely is a good one. I need a good reason to move forward, and I think that I’ve finally found it. It’s over. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false},"categories":[4,1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pQyAq-3y","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1491,"url":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/2015\/03\/06\/my-140-date-night\/","url_meta":{"origin":220,"position":0},"title":"My $140 date night","date":"March 6, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"It all started when we saw the trailer for The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. We knew we would go on opening night because that's our people. So I pre-ordered the tickets because a Friday night at the Kabuki Theater is quite the crap shoot for a good seat. That's\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "just thinking out loud"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1230,"url":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/2014\/07\/17\/learning-to-let-go\/","url_meta":{"origin":220,"position":1},"title":"Learning to let go","date":"July 17, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"I always tell people that I have 3 babies: Amelia Luka OpenTok And all three have had an amazing year. They've gone from needing epic hand holding to having a village around them that makes them better than I could alone. At work, the hardest part has been learning to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Becoming a PM"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":85,"url":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/2008\/02\/21\/chronicling-my-visualizaton-project-start-with-an-error\/","url_meta":{"origin":220,"position":2},"title":"Chronicling My Visualizaton Project - Start with an error","date":"February 21, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"It seems that you can't claim that a project has started until there is a bug of some sort that has nothing to do with any code that you have written. In fact, it's a bug in you setting up your system, which often tends to convince folks that the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "School Year 07-08"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1027,"url":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/2014\/03\/20\/this-years-ncaa-tourney-is-dead-to-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":220,"position":3},"title":"This year's NCAA tourney is dead to me","date":"March 20, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"On Tuesday, I was really excited about NC State's chances in the NCAA tournament. This is one of my favorite times of year. I used to watch a ton of basketball, and spend hours staring at my brackets as they turned more and more red. Even with all of the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "just thinking out loud"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":400,"url":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/2010\/11\/01\/understanding-motivation-part-1\/","url_meta":{"origin":220,"position":4},"title":"Understanding motivation - part 1","date":"November 1, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"I'm not convinced that motivations are well understood, least of all by me. You see, I was taught in economics that perfectly rational people will respond to a set of incentives in a perfectly rational way.\u00c2\u00a0While I'm sure that that makes sense in a textbook, and of course for the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "just thinking out loud"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":521,"url":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/2012\/02\/23\/giving-up-soda-for-lent\/","url_meta":{"origin":220,"position":5},"title":"Giving up soda for lent","date":"February 23, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"In college I dated a catholic girl who didn't give a damn about being catholic. I thought it would be fun though to try Lent out one more, and so I gave up red meat for 40 days. It totally opened up my eyes to how much red meat I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "New Year Resolutions"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/220"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=220"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/220\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=220"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=220"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=220"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}