My only sources of peace lately have come from two sources. The first is the feeling of a late night crawl into my side of a warm bed after a late night hacking session. The second is driving in a car along the Pacific Ocean. <\/p>\n
I hate driving long distances, or at least I hated driving long distances. No further than Myrtle Beach was my general limit, self-imposed of course. I think the cross country road trip that I did summer of 2007 cured me of that antsiness and boredom. I really only fell in love with this country after I saw it from the the road. And now the road is my major source of peace…<\/p>\n
Case in point. I drove down fo Monterey this past Wednesday, and experienced an entirely calm and relaxed day. In fact, we went to the CVS around midnight to get some bottled water, and I went by the pharmacy to check out my blood pressure. The reading was 117\/67 with a heart beat of 65 bpm. In San Francisco, I’m a borderline hypertensive on my way to pill boxes with the days labeled to make sure I don’t miss my meds. After a day on the road I’m healthy, relaxed and, ultimately, at peace.<\/p>\n
I’m really worried about this inability to find peace outside of the road. I can’t find a way to wind down, and it’s really leading to a situation where I’m fighting against everything just to get some breathing room. It doesn’t help that I live with someone with whom I work, but that would be an excuse, and entirely unfair to Micky. I had this problem when I lived alone, but was only two blocks away from work as well, and discovered that turning those two blocks into ten went a long way towards getting me straightened out this past spring. <\/p>\n
Something about the mindlessness of getting home is what I’m missing now. I hypothesize that being more of a regular at the gym early in the mornings will help with this. The goal there is finding a better outlet for whatever angst I’m experiencing. So far, I think, so good. If that doesn’t help, I’ll need to find something else to replace the peace which is an open highway and the Pacific off to the side crashing against the cliffs and beaches of California’s awkward coast line. <\/p>\n
Until then though I’ll keep getting my freedom for $3 per gallon over one windy stretch of CA-1 after another. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
My only sources of peace lately have come from two sources. The first is the feeling of a late night crawl into my side of a warm bed after a late night hacking session. The second is driving in a car along the Pacific Ocean. I hate driving long distances, or at least I hated […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false},"categories":[4,1],"tags":[20,21],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pQyAq-3W","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1899,"url":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/2018\/07\/22\/2018-goals-june-update\/","url_meta":{"origin":244,"position":0},"title":"2018 Goals - June Update","date":"July 22, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"tldr; Losing track, and losing motivation :-( Get to 175 lbs It's worse than May, but realistically that was unsustainable. I'm starting to ask myself whether driving towards a number really matters. Or whether I'm really just looking to sustain a lifestyle, and the number is a barometer of if\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "New Year Resolutions"","img":{"alt_text":"June 2018 weight update","src":"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/img_6159.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":548,"url":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/2012\/05\/19\/jury-duty-what-an-experience\/","url_meta":{"origin":244,"position":1},"title":"Jury Duty - What an experience","date":"May 19, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"I was summoned for jury duty about a month ago, and thought to myself, well shit, there's no way I'm getting out of this. I got to the court house at 1pm this past Monday, and hunkered down for what I thought was going to be a long and boring\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "just thinking out loud"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":932,"url":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/2014\/02\/18\/internet-free-zone\/","url_meta":{"origin":244,"position":2},"title":"Internet free zone","date":"February 18, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Micky and I don't get enough time together. We both work too much, put a lot of time into the kids, and generally find ourselves too exhausted to do much more. We need to figure out how to get better at it, but there's an epic impediment that I think\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "just thinking out loud"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":565,"url":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/2012\/10\/02\/building-consumer-tools-instead-of-consumer-products-re-posted-from-rainbow-hat-guy\/","url_meta":{"origin":244,"position":3},"title":"Building consumer tools instead of consumer products (re-posted from Rainbow Hat Guy)","date":"October 2, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"I want to be able to simplify the interactions I have in a given day to a single purpose. As an example, I'd like to claim that the hammer is there to work with nails. But the hammer isn't that simple of a product. Similarly when people ask me what's\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Rainbow Hat Guy transition"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":792,"url":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/2014\/01\/18\/aydins-annual-pilgrimage\/","url_meta":{"origin":244,"position":4},"title":"Aydin's annual pilgrimage","date":"January 18, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Every year since about 2002 (for argument's sake. I can't actually remember), my father, Aydin Yardim, and I have met in Las Vegas during CES to ring in the new year; eat at a steakhouse; and get in a show. It's become the one family tradition which is constant and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Life Updates"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":57,"url":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/2007\/06\/06\/just-some-thoughts\/","url_meta":{"origin":244,"position":5},"title":"Just Some Thoughts","date":"June 6, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"My \"Summer of Zimbra\" has reached day 2. It actually progressed through a full T-14 days of cross country road travel, but I haven't really gotten my head completely around that yet. I also haven't quite figured out what it means to be a college graduate. 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