The natural order for me for a long time has been to avoid the present, and focus on the future. The promotion I’ve wanted so badly, and how good it was going to feel. The start up I’ve wanted so badly, and how much fun it was going to be. The dice I was going to throw, and how much money I would win.<\/p>\n
But when it comes to Amelia and Luka, all of that has changed.<\/p>\n
It is definitely possible to take for granted them being 2 and 1 year old respectively, and jump to 4, 10, 16, and beyond. And every now and then there are moments where I let myself do that. Take for example earlier today – Amelia and a new friend she made Eli were playing together wonderfully. They were bouncing on his bed, in the sandbox, banging on the drums, and just generally enjoying each other. And I found myself thinking, “So this is how father’s let their daughters marry someone. They make sure it’s someone who their daughter becomes better with.” And somehow it made that distant moment seem very close.<\/p>\n
But then the rest of the day was spent in the extreme present. Playing in fountains, swimming in the pool, creating obstacle courses around the house. We got Amelia a play kitchen set, and we made play eggs and had afternoon tea. Luka ate kofte for the first time, and loved it. He gives kisses now, and then hugs you when he wants to let you know that he appreciates you’re there.<\/p>\n
In those moments, there is no future. There’s no worry about broken hearts or SATs. There is simply an us.<\/p>\n
And because of Amelia and Luka, I’ve started to apply this same philosophy elsewhere to try to help put things into perspective. I don’t know that it’s working yet, but I think it will definitely help me focus on the journey more and the destination less.<\/p>\n
That’s something that I know now will work out in the future.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The natural order for me for a long time has been to avoid the present, and focus on the future. The promotion I’ve wanted so badly, and how good it was going to feel. The start up I’ve wanted so badly, and how much fun it was going to be. The dice I was going […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false},"categories":[64,1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pQyAq-av","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1084,"url":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/2014\/04\/06\/this-week-in-review-13\/","url_meta":{"origin":651,"position":0},"title":"This week in review","date":"April 6, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"I wanted the \"This week in review\" post to become an opportunity to share a lot of photos, and just call it a day. I was all set for that too, and then the last two days happened. This weekend, my babies grew up before my eyes. Yesterday, Luka helped\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Life Updates"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1239,"url":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/2014\/07\/20\/community-pool\/","url_meta":{"origin":651,"position":1},"title":"Community pool","date":"July 20, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Amelia was desperate to go swimming today. Micky wanted to see the curtains. So we looked up some public pool times and headed down to Bayshore. The lady at the front desk of the MLK Jr Rec Center was incredibly nice. Great smile. We got in, and the babies were\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Fatherhood"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":615,"url":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/2013\/01\/30\/amelia-says-i-love-you\/","url_meta":{"origin":651,"position":2},"title":"Amelia says, \"I love you\"","date":"January 30, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"This post is really meant to act as a historical marker. Amelia has heard, \"I love you\" since the day she was born. I would like to think that all children do, but I know better than that. When she was about three months old, you'd say, \"Amelia. I love\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Fatherhood"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":977,"url":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/2014\/03\/04\/this-just-happened\/","url_meta":{"origin":651,"position":3},"title":"This just happened","date":"March 4, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"We were in the locker room getting dressed after swimming tonight. Amelia & Luka noticed that another baby from their class was using the hair dryer. They asked to use it, and then this conversation happened: Amelia: Daddy, you do it first Me: Amelia, I don't have any hair to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Fatherhood"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":539,"url":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/2012\/03\/31\/amelia-update\/","url_meta":{"origin":651,"position":4},"title":"Amelia update","date":"March 31, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Amelia has had her surgery, and is doing very well. I was most definitely scared shitless on Monday of this week, but am now much happier, and most definitely relieved. They gave her a little belly button, and it's quite cute. That's the last plastic surgery that she'll ever get\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Fatherhood"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1499,"url":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/2015\/03\/13\/its-ok-to-be-afraid-why-not\/","url_meta":{"origin":651,"position":5},"title":"It's ok to be afraid... Why not?","date":"March 13, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Amelia had the preschool bungalow assembly today. It consisted of each class singing a song, and then the whole preschool singing one song together. Check out the video here: Amelia's PS3 assembly song At Pizza Friday that evening (where we went to Delfina - #mickyfail), I asked Amelia about the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Fatherhood"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/651"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=651"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/651\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=651"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=651"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.onvural.net\/melih\/thoughts\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=651"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}