New Year Resolutions, Uncategorized 0 comments on Before we head out

Before we head out

We’re leaving for our Turtle Island adventure in just over an hour. Before we disconnect, I want to end the year with a review of my 2015 resolutions. I’ll also write, to auto-post on the first, my 2016 resolutions.

Before that though, I have to say what a pivotal year 2015 will be when the history of my life is written. Theo being born is the end of an era. It’s also the beginning of an awesome journey. I didn’t think I could love him as much as the other two. And somehow, I almost love him more. Maybe because he’s my last one. Maybe because he’s most like Micky who I obviously am obsessed with. I don’t know though. He’s magic.

It was a big year in learning about what’s important to me. Feedback to become a better person was ever present. This was less true in other areas. And a lot of moves are happening around me that makes the future more clear. The decisions I need to make are more obvious.

Two months ago, I would have said a lot of this in anger, frustration, tiredness. Today, I say it with an incredible clarity about who I want to be, and what I need to do to get there.

If you ask Micky, I’m sure she’ll say that many of the same things have happened to her. And so I’m excited to say good bye to 2015 because 2016 will be the first major year of change in a long time. And whatever that change looks like is going to be awesome to be a part of.

And with that… let’s score the resolutions!

Lose 30 pounds

I’m down about 12 – 15 pounds depending on the day. Halfway there isn’t good enough 🙁 I’m gonna see if a week of running, swimming, and eating seafood helps 🙂 Nonetheless, I’ve been really inspired this year by my weaknesses with food, inability to create habits around exercise, and generally dissatisfaction with my body image to put a plan together that will be a big move in 2016. More details on that in April/May.

Read 12 books

Nailed it! One of them was a kid’s book, but, nonetheless, I read a lot more this year than in the past. This is a trend I’m definitely going to continue. Thank you SFPL for all of your ebooks which made this a lot easier.

Book of the year for me was the one about Habit forming that I read this summer. The deepest book was the one by Ta’Nehisi Coates. In between there was a lot of things learned, and a lot of joy found.

Food-related resolutions

I nailed the one about learning to cook more things. I bombed epically at the less sugar one 🙂

Business-related resolutions

Launching broadcast hasn’t happened yet, but we’re 90% of the way there. That’s gonna be huge, and I’m incredibly proud to have led my second intrapreneur project within TokBox. So far, both look to be vibrant businesses. From a people point of view, I got close to my goal. Didn’t nail it though 🙁 From a business point of view, I’m really happy with what we accomplished. Up next is making that number even bigger!

Personal-related resolution

Nope. I bombed this one again. But I’ve already got plans in the works to do better next time around.

Thanks everyone for being part of these last twelve months. I was at so many graduations, weddings, barbecues, birthday parties, and other events where I laughed; I cried; and I thought about how lucky I am.

Fatherhood, Uncategorized 0 comments on Self-worth – a toddler’s point of view

Self-worth – a toddler’s point of view

It’s fascinating how much of the reflection we see in the mirror is a reflection of what others have told us about ourselves. In this case, it’s more of a metaphorical mirror, and also more of a metaphorical reflection.

But it has a bigger impact than the physical one that I can actually look at. And taking control of it is also much harder.

But I think I’ve done it 🙂 And it feels amazing. Obviously Theo helped. You see, he doesn’t have that problem, and somehow he showed me how to approach it the same way he does. By not approaching it all.

And then there are those dance parties, curtains wide open, with two screaming, happy babies. They care a lot. Which friend said what. Whose feelings got hurt by inclusion or exclusion. But man they shake it off fast.

And then a kiss. A hug. A sneak ice cream that mommy doesn’t notice. It just fixes everything.

It’s awesome. And I don’t mind at all if I just copy their approach. It’s much better than the one I was doing.

just thinking out loud, Uncategorized 0 comments on A Friday for thoughts

A Friday for thoughts

I feel like my day started feeling like this:

and now it feels like this:

“All men dream; but not equally.
Those who dream by night in the dusty
recesses of their minds
Awake to find that it was vanity;
But the dreamers of day are dangerous men.
That they may act their dreams with open
eyes to make it possible.”

T. E. Lawrence (aka Lawrence of Arabia)

It’s just all about perspective.

just thinking out loud, Uncategorized 2 comments on A sense of being stuck

A sense of being stuck

I have this incredible sense of being stuck.

I don’t know the source, and I’m not convinced that it’s not of my own doing. Worse, I’m pretty convinced it is of my own doing.

It just feels like at every turn we’re this close to an answer; this close to progress; this close to finishing; but we just can’t get there. And I don’t feel like I have any control left. Any more levers or motivational speeches.

I took a run today with Theo, and it was wonderful. For the first time, in a long time, my mind was empty. My focus on my breathing. The road. The baby in the stroller. That silence between my ears was heavenly.

But then I got home again, and I couldn’t keep the volume down.

I hope the end of the year let’s me switch into 2016 in a different zone. But I don’t know… this one feels like it has roots that are starting to settle.