onvural.net – melih – family man

Balancing the moment


The natural order for me for a long time has been to avoid the present, and focus on the future. The promotion I’ve wanted so badly, and how good it was going to feel. The start up I’ve wanted so badly, and how much fun it was going to be. The dice I was going to throw, and how much money I would win.

But when it comes to Amelia and Luka, all of that has changed.

It is definitely possible to take for granted them being 2 and 1 year old respectively, and jump to 4, 10, 16, and beyond. And every now and then there are moments where I let myself do that. Take for example earlier today – Amelia and a new friend she made Eli were playing together wonderfully. They were bouncing on his bed, in the sandbox, banging on the drums, and just generally enjoying each other. And I found myself thinking, “So this is how father’s let their daughters marry someone. They make sure it’s someone who their daughter becomes better with.” And somehow it made that distant moment seem very close.

But then the rest of the day was spent in the extreme present. Playing in fountains, swimming in the pool, creating obstacle courses around the house. We got Amelia a play kitchen set, and we made play eggs and had afternoon tea. Luka ate kofte for the first time, and loved it. He gives kisses now, and then hugs you when he wants to let you know that he appreciates you’re there.

In those moments, there is no future. There’s no worry about broken hearts or SATs. There is simply an us.

And because of Amelia and Luka, I’ve started to apply this same philosophy elsewhere to try to help put things into perspective. I don’t know that it’s working yet, but I think it will definitely help me focus on the journey more and the destination less.

That’s something that I know now will work out in the future.