I have this incredible sense of being stuck.
I don’t know the source, and I’m not convinced that it’s not of my own doing. Worse, I’m pretty convinced it is of my own doing.
It just feels like at every turn we’re this close to an answer; this close to progress; this close to finishing; but we just can’t get there. And I don’t feel like I have any control left. Any more levers or motivational speeches.
I took a run today with Theo, and it was wonderful. For the first time, in a long time, my mind was empty. My focus on my breathing. The road. The baby in the stroller. That silence between my ears was heavenly.
But then I got home again, and I couldn’t keep the volume down.
I hope the end of the year let’s me switch into 2016 in a different zone. But I don’t know… this one feels like it has roots that are starting to settle.