onvural.net – melih – family man

A first kiss


Another short post for time keeping sake. I got my first proper smooch from Luka today. I conned Amelia into giving me a kiss to get something, and I turned to Luka and said, “Now you too Luka.”

He puckered up, and planted one on my cheek.

It was wonderful 🙂

A body at rest stays at rest unless acted upon


Saturday morning – filled with shrieks of joy. Pancakes sizzle in the frying pan. Amelia carts off to gym with Micky. Luka and I sit and watch the late Premier League soccer game while testing the boundaries of how much a son can do to drive his father crazy without injury or death entering the equation.

Lunch. Nap time. Swimming.

A young family tradition of fish sticks after swimming fulfilled with a stroll through the aisles of Whole Foods on the way home. Often a cheese stick, a bunch of grapes, or a chocolate bar fall victim to the the grabbing hands of a toddler.

Dinner. Bath time. Curious George. Stories. Songs. Bed.

Then silence – an envelope of exhaustion and thought.

From the thought has been an overbearing sense of isolation – friends not seen (weeks, months, and years); phone calls not made; a series of physical connections lost.

A constant conflict between being present as a father, a husband, and a friend. Not knowing how to balance my own triumvirate, inertia decides. And inertia finds me at home with cartoons one moment, and wrapped in a blanket next to Micky falling asleep to a movie that only just started the next.

I miss my friends. Mea culpa for the moments lost. I adore my family, with no regrets for the memories created.

The conflict continues without resolution. Only a next chapter…

ISO: Recipe for freezing kids in this moment


What a wonderful week of Amelia and Luka.

We spent last week in North Carolina visiting family and friends. It’s amazing to me how much they trust Doruk even though they barely see him. Maybe a month ago I would have said barely know him, but after this past week I know better than that. To know someone is clearly more than to have their presence be consistent in day-to-day life, but it took a 2.5 year old to teach me that.

Micky headed over the UK for a few days, and so the flight back was the three of us. They did wonderfully, and the folks on the plane made sure to say as much. Everyone is so impressed when a man can take his kids on his own on long haul flights. We’re definitely not post-sexism by any stretch of the imagination. Even so, I appreciate the accolades, and so let me not complain too much 🙂

Amelia had her 2.5 year old checkup on Wednesday. After screwing up the time, and moving things around at work, we finally got the ball rolling. Measurements came in at:

  • 38.5″ tall (> 100th percentile)
  • 35 lbs (75th percentile)
  • Smart, fun and awesome (okay, I made this one up)

The doctor suggested she get her flu shot, and so we buckled down and got ready (read, I buckled down and got ready). Amelia walked into the hallway, saw the nurse, and asked, “What’s that little girl doing?” (which is her token question about everyone these days). I explained that she was get Amelia’s shot ready, and then the nurse said that after she got her shot Amelia could get a sticker.

Amelia immediately responded with, “I want my shot.”

I wonder if any nurse has ever heard that before! When all was ready, and Amelia was in my lap, they rolled up her sleeve, pricked her, and… no tears, no fuss, just a request to go get her stickers.


The next morning, Amelia decided to sleep in while Luka and I played in the living room before Noelle got here. He’s grown up so much in the last six weeks. Words. Opinions. Laughter. And the best smile I’ve ever seen. Luka smiles, and the world lights up. It’s truly amazing.

Then, today, the two of them chase each other around the house, “cook” breakfast, only eat the chocolate chips, and generally make an ordinary Saturday extraordinary. Amelia tops it all off by saying, “I’ll do the dishes” in a way only Amelia could.

So if anyone has a recipe for freezing these moments, and making sure they never go away, please let me know.