onvural.net – melih – family man

Dependent independence


It’s a very weird time in Amelia Rose’s development right now, and it translates very well to where I feel I am as well professionally.

Amelia refuses to sit still. The energizer bunny has nothing on her (plus his insides aren’t on the outside either). However neither walking nor crawling have been mastered. As a result, she constantly needs someone to watch over her. She doesn’t really want us to be there from a play perspective, but we have to be there from a fall on my head perspective. She is dependently independent.

In the same way, I feel as if I’m desperate to get to the next level of my career. I’d be lying if I said I had any idea as to what it was, but I just feel like I need to get there. The problem is that I don’t know if I can crawl, much less walk, and so someone is constantly having to make sure I don’t fall on my head. And let me tell you it sucks to be dependently independent.

Amelia has the advantage of time, but for me time feels like the crux of the problem. When she does fall on her head, she learns. I feel like I don’t get the chance, and so I haven’t.

I want to find a way out to the other side. I know she will make it. But in the meantime we’re both keeping both hands on the table around those tricky coffee table turns.

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